What is “Mother’s Day” really about?

Picture: Svenja Plaas

Mother’s Day just passed… I bought some flowers for my mom and when I saw her, I threw some words where she was standing, “Happy Mother’s Day Mom”, as my own baby startet crying at the very moment. The thrown words came from my heart, no question, but not even touching, what I wanted to say.

I guess, it’s a little bit the same for all the facebook-posts or tweets or funny exclamations of love for the moms around the world, you could read on that day or if people missed it, one day later. People try to thank their moms on that medium. That was, when I started wondering, if their moms even follow, to know. Some send pictures, greetings, even songs on facebook, but for a lot of them, I know, their moms are not even on facebook or know how to use internet well. So what is it about? Are we supposed to klick “like”?

Is it about a narcissistic selfie or the funny – “I remember, I have a mom?” I am really trying to find the fragment of love here. If I imagine my own children posting about me in maybe ten years, I would love to tell them: “Pls, come and tell me, if it’s me, you want to say thank you.” Don’t get me wrong, I am using facebook too and I love posting about things, going on in daily life, but for mother’s day it got me somehow angry.

Why? Maybe because being a mom is not a job, you could ever quit – even when your children are grown. You don’t get payed, you don’ get awards, well you also don’t get fired – all you get – and that is wonderful – is the love you share with your children…. this love includes the being beaten, when you change cloth, the fighting, when you say “no”, the crying nights you sit next to you baby (also sometimes grown up ones) to make it sleep, the fear and happyness for any step your baby takes, the sicknesses you go through… and many more things.

The fact is, you can’t really say thank you for something like that. You did not choose to be your mother’s child and you had very little influence on her being your mom. (At least in the first years) Though you could appreciate what your mother maybe did, what you liked or that she decided to be your mom. I know my own words did not get close to what I would have loved to tell my mom at the very moment. And I would say, like I do for a lot of such days (woman’s day, lover’s day also called valentines day, …) that there should not be a need for such, because you need to appreciate woman or your partner not just once a year, but all days of a year. Concerning mother’s day, it’s somehow special, as we forget easily, that mother’s (and i don’t want to exclude the fathers taking the role of mothers) raise our children, the grown ones of tomorrow. So even just telling my mom thank you, is something what seems funny to me. Why just thanking our own mom and not also our wives or girlfriends and sisters for raising our babies, for caring and giving birth to our babies. Let’s not forget about the moms, who maybe never gave birth, but are still moms, as they decided to take over responsibility for children. Why are man mostly thanking their mother’s, but barely mention the work their women do to raise the own children?

Mother’s day in first place could be a day, where we appreciate especially our mom, but I think and give my big thank you also, to all the mother’s who are trying their best, to raise a child, wether it’s a male or a female mother, a biological or non biological one, wether it’s your grandmother or maybe your aunty!

No Summary

What is mother’s day about? Tell me, where you see the fragment of love. 

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It’s worth to stay…

I hold on to the things I believe in, my faith, your love, our freedom.

Our society is determined by innovation, by the latest trends, by the day after tomorrow… Sometimes we loose the focus, because everybody and everything tries to catch our eye. Things are created the way, that you can’t stay satisfied for long, without going for the next thing. I refuse to always run for the next thing, just because the one I have, is a little old already or uncomfortable for the moment.

It’s not easy to stay on one thing, wether it’s love, relationship, your principles or your way of life. Very often the best advice from people is: “You should know what you want and how long you can take this.” … “You should know, what’s best for yourself!” … “Don’t forget about yourself.” This is not enough.

Difficult times always come in life. Difficult times always come in relationship. And I am not talking about the difficulties between two people (but it also could be that), but the one coming from outside. Times where you have to hang on and know it will get better, just not right now. Myself-therapy is to talk about it with friends. I need to share to get rid of negativ feelings and ideas. Unfortunately a lot of times I just get this kind of advices, which point out, that I should not stand the situation, but change it or drop it. Mostly I get quiet, as for me: It’s worth to stay. That means, you can’t always just decide what’s best for yourself. It’s not always about the very moment, but about a longer distance you have to endure. To hang on is also an effort, which is not easy to do.

I learned in Cameroon that it’s worth to stay, though you don’t know when things get better. Till now, it always was worth staying. Seeing people running restless from one new thing to another, playing the same games again and again, wasting energy on the never ending story… I just can be cool about it, because I compare for myself what I create with exactly that energy. And it’s beautiful. I see what I can get back from it and I just know: It’s worth to stay.

Summary:

Point out for yourself, what you want. Don’t let the outside come to your heart and determine you to change or to go and catch the next thing. Have faith, that holding on to something will pay in future times. You don’t need to think about a better option or the non plus ultra – just because everybody else does. Stay focused on what your life and love is really about.