What is “Mother’s Day” really about?

Picture: Svenja Plaas

Mother’s Day just passed… I bought some flowers for my mom and when I saw her, I threw some words where she was standing, “Happy Mother’s Day Mom”, as my own baby startet crying at the very moment. The thrown words came from my heart, no question, but not even touching, what I wanted to say.

I guess, it’s a little bit the same for all the facebook-posts or tweets or funny exclamations of love for the moms around the world, you could read on that day or if people missed it, one day later. People try to thank their moms on that medium. That was, when I started wondering, if their moms even follow, to know. Some send pictures, greetings, even songs on facebook, but for a lot of them, I know, their moms are not even on facebook or know how to use internet well. So what is it about? Are we supposed to klick “like”?

Is it about a narcissistic selfie or the funny – “I remember, I have a mom?” I am really trying to find the fragment of love here. If I imagine my own children posting about me in maybe ten years, I would love to tell them: “Pls, come and tell me, if it’s me, you want to say thank you.” Don’t get me wrong, I am using facebook too and I love posting about things, going on in daily life, but for mother’s day it got me somehow angry.

Why? Maybe because being a mom is not a job, you could ever quit – even when your children are grown. You don’t get payed, you don’ get awards, well you also don’t get fired – all you get – and that is wonderful – is the love you share with your children…. this love includes the being beaten, when you change cloth, the fighting, when you say “no”, the crying nights you sit next to you baby (also sometimes grown up ones) to make it sleep, the fear and happyness for any step your baby takes, the sicknesses you go through… and many more things.

The fact is, you can’t really say thank you for something like that. You did not choose to be your mother’s child and you had very little influence on her being your mom. (At least in the first years) Though you could appreciate what your mother maybe did, what you liked or that she decided to be your mom. I know my own words did not get close to what I would have loved to tell my mom at the very moment. And I would say, like I do for a lot of such days (woman’s day, lover’s day also called valentines day, …) that there should not be a need for such, because you need to appreciate woman or your partner not just once a year, but all days of a year. Concerning mother’s day, it’s somehow special, as we forget easily, that mother’s (and i don’t want to exclude the fathers taking the role of mothers) raise our children, the grown ones of tomorrow. So even just telling my mom thank you, is something what seems funny to me. Why just thanking our own mom and not also our wives or girlfriends and sisters for raising our babies, for caring and giving birth to our babies. Let’s not forget about the moms, who maybe never gave birth, but are still moms, as they decided to take over responsibility for children. Why are man mostly thanking their mother’s, but barely mention the work their women do to raise the own children?

Mother’s day in first place could be a day, where we appreciate especially our mom, but I think and give my big thank you also, to all the mother’s who are trying their best, to raise a child, wether it’s a male or a female mother, a biological or non biological one, wether it’s your grandmother or maybe your aunty!

No Summary

What is mother’s day about? Tell me, where you see the fragment of love. 

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Your love is my love…

Sometimes you have one of these days: Everything goes wrong, your colleague has to point out today what you don’t need to hear and a person on the street needs to disturb your fragil freedom, you don’t come home today, because you are out for work – though you want to come home badly and just close the door.

The only people I let close to me at those days is my family, my love. I just need a place, where I can be exactly like I feel after closing the door. For sure, these days when I can’t come home and try to call my love, I don’t get through because there is a network problem or he is busy and doesn’t pick the phone. I won’t continue to write, how that kind of days normally end… I just leave it to you.

… The days he is picking or I get through, I just love him for standing me the way I am and listening to all the small, small things I need to complain about. Telling him any little injustice which made that day to one of those days. You know your love is a good choice, if he is somebody who treats you exactly the way you need to be treated, to get back on your feet. For some people it might be a hard treatment: “Stop crying. Don’t let it get to you!” for some it might be the very nice comforting way: “My love, I understand. Tomorrow the day will be better, baby…”. It doesn’t matter how you need it, but that there are people who know what to do. And this people are real treasures. So keep them around, but don’t just call them when you are down. 😉

Summary:

Love is not just the big movie and romance you find in Hollywood. Love is also part of daily life. Love is not just the good days, but also the arms which hide you from the world, the day you feel like hiding from the world. If you found that pair of arms, you are one of the lucky ones. And it doesn’t have to be necessarily your love. Sometimes it’s your mum, your baby, your sister or brother or a very good person around you…

Like a bird and the wind

What picture do you have in mind, when you think about your love? Maybe a growing flower, a tree full of fruits, a thunderous river, a fragil heart…

I always think about a bird, which enjoys his covey a the very moment. It’s a sunny day, small good-weather clouds are there, but not disturbing the birds direction. The bird is beautiful and happy for the very moment, not chased, not chasing – just being. At the same moment there is wind surrounding the bird. The wind is the other component of the relationship. And at this very beautiful day the wind is taking the same direction like the bird. It’s strength is supporting the upswing of the bird and makes the covey easy and unique. Very important is the fact, that both are not depending on each other, but they are part of the one fragment of love and make it grow. The bird at the same moment is not an obstacle to the wind… We could continue to draw that picture… same direction… same moment… different experiences… powerful fragment of love…

Summary:

Create your own idea of love and partnership, but don’t fix it to hold it tight. Let it be an always changing picture of the love you carry inside yourself.