One of the hardest things…

to let another person love you!

It s easy to fall in love with somebody, because most of the times we meet someone, a thing we love about our idea of a future partner shows up and we imagine a lot of things, which could be real…

I would also say, it s easy to love after a while… especially as some people like to fall in love with the idea of a person or the image they created about a person. So the need of loving makes us not just blinde once in a while, but also helps us to see things, which are not always real. But what is reality, especially when we talk about emotions!

What is really hard, is to let a person love you! Why is it so difficult although it´s what everybody is longing for in life…

It´s so difficult, I would say, because it attacks first of all the relationship to ourselves. To love somebody means to choose a person in his or her whole appearance with all his or her strong and weak points. So if we want to be loved by a person, first step is to open up and show that whole person. It means to be yourself and not to hide behind what we would love to be in our own or the other person´s eyes. Probably you know for yourself how long it sometimes takes to really open up, to really be yourself – and lot´s of people don´t like to see their weak points or even to show them to other people. So we are busy in building walls and images, instead of breathing freely and just be the way we are. I don´t want to make an excursion why people start doing this… childhood, life-experiences, …

So it´s already a very difficult task to love ourselves the way we are. (Just look how many coachings or blogs or communities talk about “How to love yourself…”) And at the same moment we should open up, become more vulnerable to a person… a person we like to keep around us, because we are given something by the person, what we need and love… Some people say, you need to love yourself first and than another one could really love you. Don´t know, what do you think…

I myself experienced, that a person also can teach you, that there is no reason to run from you, just because you have weak points. My ex-boyfriend even told me, while we broke up, that I should not always be like the unreachable person, who is always strong, but that a partner also needs the feeling to protect the other once in a while… But actually to find someone who stands next to you, while showing the ugliest faces, is not just helping you to accept them, but maybe even to change for better. I don´t mean, that we should just feel free to let go of ourselves and our partner has to accept and love this, too. But I mean, that we should not hide away, what also belongs to us. And facing this in front of a mirror is helping us, to really see, what is there and maybe to think about how to go about it. Some things you just have to accept, but some things you also can and should work out. Growing up, doesn´t just mean to build your personality, but for me it also means to work on yourself, to become the best version of you. Not in the first place for somebody else, but for your own love and self-worth. To do that, it´s sometimes necessary to be alone with the facts we don´t like and not to run away. Sometimes it´s also necessary to have a mirror to reflect what is there. 

And my fragments of love, I want to talk about in this post, are actually the moments, when your partner just takes your hand or stands even stronger than before next to you, when you yourself think, you are not loveable at all. It always has a healing effect on my soul. 

Summary:

Try to open up. Don´t hide yourself behind an image you like to be, but you are actually not. There always will come a day, when you need to break out of that image. You will be surprised how much easier it is to love and to be loved, if you accept where you come from.

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