To measure your treasure…

Sometimes we are too deep and too close in our relationship. You start fighting about the small things: Who has to buy water or how to wash dishes… These little fights are not essential for the love between two people, although they become the most important things in some relationships after a while. If you start fighting about those things, you have lost the main focus. I would say, you need to step back.

In a binational relationship you are forced once in a while to stand longer distances, though you don’t always want it. Wether it’s for work, family or visits you leave for your “home country” for some weeks, a month or half a year. These separations are not always easy, but most of the times worth it.

The moment I leave my love and find myself in another place alone for days and nights, just in contact via “what’s app” or “skype” I realize a lot of things. It’s like a bench, where you sit down to look back on the path you have already taken and to estimate the next challenges coming soon. I sometimes loose the main focus with all these things going on in my daily life, but being forced to sit down on this bench for a while always helps me to get it back. While people around me pity me once in a while, one part inside of me is also looking forward to those moments. Why?

The moment I prepare for leaving and the first days and weeks, I just enjoy the longing for my love. These very intense moments show me every time that our love still grows. The first days I am alone I find myself in some situations in which I burst out laughing about the last stupid fight we had.Sometimes I even start missing the little things I complained about before. (I also enjoy watching a whole day my favorite season, sitting crying in front of my laptop without being disturbed.)

Finally I am able to look back and appreciate what I have. I let go of these small things which are not essential in my relationship and I get back to the main focus. I have a lot of time for myself and thus has my love. After those periods we just enjoy each other with a new pinch of the charm of first love.

pictures by Carolina E.

Summary:

A change of perspective is helpful in every situation of life. Especially for things we consider negative or difficult in the beginning, it could help us or give us a new point of view. 

Distance in a relationship sometimes brings you closer than you have been before. It’s also necessary to stay yourself and become aware of your priorities or your own life (in the relationship). 

Distance and love are not two different things. They are emphasizing each other.